By the Way, I'll Always Love You
by siriusly cool48
Summary: Minerva McGonagall has never known love. That is, until Tom Riddle stepped into her life. She grows close to this troublesome boy, but they are very different. Maybe too different.


By the Way, I'll Always Love You

Minerva practically danced through Diagon Alley. She had received her acceptance letter to Hogwarts the previous week, and she had been looking forward to leaving since then. She gained her magical abilities slightly late-- when she was seven years old. Her father and mother were respectable magical folks, they didn't have time for a daughter they assumed to be a squib. All the affection she had received had been from some particularly kind nannies, but that soon passed. Minerva was a troublesome child and the nannies didn't stay long. She preferred to be on her own, to do things her own way. So she left her nanny in the Leaky Cauldron to have a few firewhiskies while she shopped for school supplies.

Minerva looked around her at the many shops and businesses, and the witches and wizards of all shapes and sizes. This was nothing new to her, because she had visited here many times. Her long brown hair tossed about her face. She brushed it aside irritably and looked down at her school supply list. The list told her the uniform requirements, the course books, and the other equipment she would be required to have as a first year.

_1 wand_

_1 pewter cauldron, standard size 2_

_1 set glass or crystal phials_

_1 telescope_

_1 set brass scales_

_Students my also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad_

Minerva had always liked cats, she would get one of those. As for the other items, she could head into the Apothecary for potion-making tools, and Everything Astronomy for her telescope. Flourish and Blott's for her books and Madam Malkin's for her uniform. Minerva cheerfully paid the store clerks for her items and left. She looked back at her list. Only a wand left. She carefully made her way through the crowd with all her bundles and packages in her arms.

Finally she reached the end of Diagon Alley, where a small shop was located in a shadow, making the store seem uninhabited and unfriendly. She nervously walked up and opened the door. It was indeed a small shop, with one front room and a back room that she could see had shelves of boxes of wands. "H-hello?" She was trembling. A man popped his head out of the back room.

"Ah, hello Minerva. You have arrived. please, sit down." The man walked out and motioned to a stool for her to sit. Minerva could see he was almost bald with wisps of white hair showing around his scalp. He had half-moon spectacles and worn gray robes. Then she realized who he was.

"You're Ollivander, aren't you?" Minerva looked up into the aged, wrinkled face. He smiled and stepped into better light. With a sickening jolt, Minerva realized that his large, unblinking eyes were silver, with no pupils.

"Yes. I remember selling your parents their first wands. Yew and dragon heartstring, seven and a half inches, and willow and unicorn hair, twelve inches." Minerva smiled politely at him, hoping he would stop taking about her parents. "Ah, but that was then. This is now. So let's see..." Ollivander perused the shelves of thin boxes, while a magical measuring tape measured her arms and virtually every other part of her body. The tape fell to the floor as Ollivander returned. "Give this one a wave." Minerva expertly flicked the wand, but Ollivander snatched it out of her hand. He handed her another box.

Just as Minerva was about to test it, she heard the tinkling of a bell and a door open. She turned around. It took all her willpower not to stare open-mouthed. Before her stood the most handsome boy she had ever seen. He was about her age, with brown hair neatly trimmed above his ears. He stood maybe a head above her, and he had the most beautiful brown eyes. Minerva shook it off. The boy looked about him, and his eyes came to rest on her. He smirked.

"Don't drool on yourself. It's very unflattering." Minerva snapped her mouth shut. She glared at this intruder on her perfect day. "By the way, my name's Tom. Tom Riddle." He held out his hand for her to shake. She politely took it and smiled. "Well? Aren't you going to tell me your name?" Minerva winced at her own stupidity. Why did she have to keep messing up?

"My name is Minerva McGonagall. Pleased to meet you, Tom." Tom smiled and looked at Ollivander.

"Can I get a wand here?" he asked hungrily. Ollivander nodded quickly and motioned for Tom to wait. Minerva then remembered the box in her hand and took it out. A delightful warmth flooded through her fingers. She gave it a clumsy wave, and red and gold sparks flew out of the tip.

"Ah, yes. Here you go. Maple and unicorn hair, eleven and a half inches. Quite flexible. Good for transfiguration work." Ollivander gently placed Minerva's wand back in its box and wrapped it in brown paper. "Here you go. Have a nice day."

"Nice to meet you, Tom. See you at Hogwarts, I guess."

"Bye then." Minerva could see Tom turn excitedly to Ollivander as Minerva left. And she knew she would be seeing more of Tom Riddle.

* * * * * * *

Minerva glanced around her quickly, then sprinted through the brick platform that was nine and three quarters at King's Cross Station. Her nanny quickly followed, pushing her cart. Minerva carried only her bag of her school robes and the basket containing her new cat.

"All aboard for the Hogwarts Express!" A man called.

"Alright, take your things. See you in September." Minerva's nanny attempted a smile, but it looked for like she had indigestion. Minerva stifled a laugh and turned towards the train. Boys and girls were rushing inside hurriedly, receiving last minute kisses from their parents, and greeting their friends from previous years. Minerva hurried onto the train and stuffed her luggage into a luggage rack. She scanned for an empty compartments, but there were none to be found. Minerva did not want to end up spending the ride with some strange older kids who she did not know, so she began to get nervous. Then she finally found one which looked like it was mostly empty. Minerva opened the door and closed it behind her.

"Do you mind? All the other compartments are full." The only other person in the compartment was turned toward the window.

"No, go ahead." He faced her.

"Tom!" It was the boy she had met from Diagon Alley! "It's nice to see you!" His handsome features were even more evident in the light of the compartment. He grunted and turned back to the window. Minerva was determined to have pleasant conversation now. "So, did you get your wand?" Tom looked at her excitedly, a smile smile playing on his lips. Apparently Minerva had said the magic words.

"Oh yes, it's beautiful. Want to see?" Tom reached in his pocket and drew out a long wand. "Yew and phoenix feather, thirteen and a half inches, great for charms work." He looked at it with a sort of reverence that looked odd to Minerva. But that didn't really matter. At least she had gotten him talking. They chatted for a while, stopping only when the cart of sweets came by, where Minerva bought a large amount of candy for them to split.

"I snatched a few galleons from my father's dresser when he wasn't looking. He won't miss it." To this Tom and Minerva shared a good laugh, and went on to relate all their tales of getting in trouble and causing mischief. By the time they arrived at Hogwarts, the two were fast friends.

"McGonagall, Minerva!" Minerva edged nervously up to a stool at the front of the Great Hall, where all the students and teachers were gathered for the Welcoming Feast. An old witch was holding an ugly, frayed hat, which had been shouting out school houses when placed on a child's head. Last thing Minerva saw before the hat fell over her eyes was the whole Hall in front of her, waiting to see what house she would be in. Minerva was uneasy. Her parents had been in Slytherin, and she knew she did not want to be anything like her parents.

"So, where to put you?" A small voice asked in her ear. "You are quite bright-- I can see it in your head. An urge to prove yourself, that would be useful anywhere. Ravenclaw, perhaps? But you wouldn't do well there. You have no patience for studying."

"Please, I don't want to be in Slytherin. I never want to be like my parents." Minerva whispered, begging the Sorting Hat.

"Oh? You would be perfect there. Are you really sure? Well then, you'd better be GRYFFINDOR!" Minerva heard the last word shouted to the whole Hall. In her excitement, Minerva could hardly hear the applause. The hat was jerked from her head and she ran to the table to her far left. A few people rose and shook her hand, congratulating her. After about ten more people were sorted into various houses, before "Riddle, Thomas," was called up to be sorted. Almost immediately, he was sorted into Slytherin. Minerva clapped for him and waved, but she couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment for not having him with her in Gryffindor.

* * * * * * *

_Six years later, Minerva and Tom are in their last year of Hogwarts. They are still the best of friends, and they both plan to return to the school as Professors. Minerva and Tom have the privilege of being Head Boy and Girl, meaning they get their own dormitories, separate from their houses, and a common room for them to share._

"Minerva?"

"Yes, Tom?"

"So, tomorrow's the last day of school. Want to join me for a walk around the castle one last time?" Tom held out his hand. Minerva smiled. Tom had become more and more handsome over the years. He still stood a head over Minerva, though she was very tall. His brown eyes and brown hair contrasted strikingly with his pale skin. His perfect pink lips and cheeks smiled back at her. Minerva took his outstretched hand. They wandered around the castle and out onto the castle grounds, reminiscing about all their years there. The sun was warm on their faces, and the breeze played with their hair. Tom stopped by the edge of the lake, under a tall oak tree. He plopped down on the grass and started pulling up handfuls of it. Minerva sat next to him and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"Remember when we first came here? I was so upset that you weren't in Gryffindor." Minerva laughed. Tom rolled over and looked up at the clouds in the sky.

"Well, that worked out fine. We still snuck out to the kitchens for midnight snacks, hung out in the library, and stuff like that. And we saw each other in the common room and in classes." Tom brushed a piece of hair away from his eyes and looked up at Minerva. "I'm gonna miss it."

"We're still gonna come back though, when old Dippet accepts us as teachers. He has to. We're the most powerful witch and wizard in our year! With you a parseltongue and I an animagus." Minerva leaned her head back and slipped into her mind, imagining her animal form. She slided out of her body and landed on her feet with a 'meow'.

"Yeah, that's pretty cool, I have to say." Tom reached out and stroked Minerva's soft fur absent-mindedly. Minerva started to purr, but stopped herself. Tom knew just how to get to her! He was just too perfect! Minerva imagined her human form and changed back. She was still in her sitting position. Tom sat up and faced the lake. "But I mean, what if he _doesn't _admit us? I might never see this place again." He glanced at her then corrected himself. "Oh, of course _you'll_ get the position, but I might not." The sun was setting now. The sky over the lake was lit up into a fiery red, and the remaining clouds were pink and rosy. Minerva started when she realized that Tom was staring at her. She looked at him.

"What?" She felt self-conscious all of a sudden.

"You just look so beautiful right now." Minerva's heart sputtered and thudded. It was a wonder the whole castle couldn't hear it. Tom reached over and quickly kissed her. Minerva was shocked. She had not seen this coming. Tom stood and held out his hand. Together they strolled back toward the castle, and everything seemed right to Minerva.

* * * * * * *

"What do you mean, you didn't get the job?" Tom looked at his feet, his face turning red.

"Old Dumbledore is headmaster now, not Dippett. You know he's never liked me. He outright refused to let me be Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. He said I didn't want it."

"Oh Tom, I'm so sorry! That's not fair!" Minerva had already secured her place as Transfiguration professor shortly before Dippet's retirement a few years ago. Minerva took Tom's hand. "It's ok. You know the Ministry would be privileged to have you."

"But I don't want to work in the Ministry. Never have, never will." He pulled his hand out of hers. Minerva could see right now how tired and stretched he looked. His handsome charm was wearing off, his face just looking pale and thin. He always seemed edgy and distant, almost like he was hiding something. But she shoved this unwanted thought away. He was just stressed.

"Tom?"

"Hmm?" Tom was rubbing his temples.

"Whatever you do, I'm behind you all the way." To Minerva's surprise, Tom pulled her into an enormous hug. Minerva awkwardly patted him on the back, trying to breathe.

"I've got to go." Tom pulled away and began to stalk towards the door.

"Tom! Wait!" Minerva grabbed his wrist until he looked her in the eye. "By the way, I'll always love you." Tom smiled, and Minerva thought she saw a tear form in his eye before he shut the door behind him.

* * * * * * *

_Dearest Tom,_

_How are you? I have been missing your letters. Are you busy with the new job? You still haven't told me what it is you do that takes up all your time. The school year seems to go by so fast. It's lovely being in Hogwarts again, but it's nothing without you here. I miss you. Please write back soon._

_Love Always,_

_Minerva_

Minerva sighed. It had been months since Tom's last letter-- and that was only a four sentence letter explaining that he had a job now and was too busy to write. She tied her envelope to the outstretched leg of an owl, and watched as it flew off into the night. Her sleep was troubled and light, and morning seemed to come quickly.

Minerva awoke with a jolt. Everything was quiet. Then the sound came again-- the one that had woken her up. Groaning and rubbing her eyes, Minerva sat up. She then saw the source of the noise. Her owl had returned, with a letter! Minerva jumped up and rushed to the window, opening it hastily and untying the envelope. It was addressed to her, from a Lord Voldemort. Minerva had heard that name somewhere, but from where she had no idea. She quickly paid the bird and sat back on her bed. The sun had just risen on the castle grounds, and there was enough light to read without a lamp. She sliced the envelope and it fell to the floor as she began to read.

_Minerva,_

_I am fine. The job I spoke of earlier is a sort of business. I am collecting items of extreme value for my own personal collection. I have many people who work for me, including some you might recognize from our school days. They show me the utmost loyalty, as disobedience is strictly punished. I have no wish to return to Hogwarts anymore, as a student or professor. My days of patience with Dumbledore are gone. Ever since he denied me my obvious role as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, have you noticed that not a single teacher in that position has stayed more than a year? That is because I cursed it to do so until Dumbledore sees sense. I am making huge advancements on my mission. It is all explained on the separate sheet I have included. You should see me now! Even the ones who don't believe in me have all seen their demise. I am the most powerful wizard in the world! Minerva, you can follow my lead. Join me, and you can rule with me; share this power!_

"_The last enemy that shall be defeated is Death,"_

_Lord Voldemort_

Minerva stared, puzzled at the letter. This had to be from Tom. No one else knew they had talked. But he still sounded very strange. And why did he sign his name "Lord Voldemort?" His name was fine the way it was. Minerva laid that piece of parchment aside and picked up the other. It was a page torn out from a book. On the top Tom had scribbled the title, Darkest Magical Feats of All Time. Minerva examined the rest of the page carefully. Some of it she did not understand, but the parts she did frightened her. There were horrific images of people's contorted bodies, terrifying monsters, and gruesome potions. Scanning the paper, Minerva saw that Tom had highlighted a specific passage.

_Horcruxes are possibly the most dark of all magical feats attempted by mankind. It is life-changing to see, and will leave you scarred for life. A horcrux is a fragment of one's soul, ripped off by the person and transferred into another object for safekeeping. It is very difficult to create a horcrux, and must never be attempted by an inexperienced wizard. It is said:_

"_First comes death, a murder sown,_

_Then the spell, to only them known._

_A fragment of their soul, apart,_

_Will rip its way out of their heart._

_But if love then should take its course,_

_The only way is for remorse."_

Tom had hastily scratched out the last part.

_According to this passage, one must first murder someone to create a horcrux. After this is done, they will "know" the incantation or ritual to perform. It is not clear exactly how this happens, but it is certain that a garment is required to be worn; a snakeskin cloak. After the incantation, a part of their soul will rip its way off. This is a very painful experience, rated a twenty on the pain scale. This pain will not kill you, but is unbearable. If in due time, one regrets their decision to make a horcrux, it is said that having remorse will heal their heart and soul completely. This is a very painful experience, much more so than creating the horcrux itself._

On the very bottom of the page, Tom had scribbled, "Ever wanted to know how my father and grandparents died?"

* * * * * * *

Minerva felt the page slip from her fingers. It landed on the floor where her cat began to play with it, but she didn't care. Her world was suddenly toppling down. It was like being at the top of a roller coaster, carefree, feeling the sun on her skin, but she had just taken a plummeting drop down to the bottom where it was dark and cold: reality. Why did it have to hurt so much? Her best friend, and the only one she had ever loved, was a killer.

Minerva got up and dressed, without thinking, without feeling. She went through the rest of the day, the week, the school year, like a robot, numb and harsh to reality. Luckily she was never one to proclaim her emotions, so only a few intuitive students and staff noticed anything was wrong.

* * * * * * *

Minerva awoke with a start. It was the middle of the night, she was sure. With a jolt she remembered what had happened the previous day. It had been years since she had learned of Tom's treachery, and he and his followers had killed another victim. In the terror of this moment, aurors Fred and Alice Longbottom had pursued Voldemort until cornering him in Spinner's End. Lord Voldemort had given the order for his death eaters to use the cruciatus curse. The Longbottoms were now in St. Mungo's Hospital, where they were meant to live the rest of their lives. They had gone completely mentally insane with the torture. With a pang, Minerva thought of their young son, Neville. He now had no parents to take care of him. Since this episode, all the teachers were given a port key in their room that would take them to safety at Dumbledore's summer house if ever needed. Minerva shook with rage. Lord Voldemort must be stopped at all costs, and she wouldn't rest until she had seen it done.

Then she heard it again-- the sound that had woken her up. Someone was outside her door. She slowly and carefully got up, and wielding her wand, she opened the door. She saw nobody.

"Minerva." Her heart plummeted. Even though it had been so many years since she had heard it, she still remembered that voice. Tom.

_Expelliarmus!_ She thought, trying to disarm him. But it had no effect. Tom's laugh chilled her to the bone.

"Don't even try that on me. I'm a Legilimens and Occlumens now. I can see everything you think, every move you try to do. I am faster." Tom stepped out of the shadow. Minerva almost wretched. His skin was stretched and thin, and his nose had been broken many times. He was balding too, but that was not what sickened her. His eyes-- large and bright as they had always been, were bright red. No pupil, no iris. Just a red glaze covering his whole eye. "Yes, I have changed. But in good ways. I am so much more powerful now. Possibly the most powerful wizard in the world!" Minerva was stunned. She had no idea what to say. "Minerva, you don't honestly think that Longbottom couple was of any use to you? They were weak, and I helped thin out the weak links." To this, Minerva jumped up in a rage.

"It's not whether they were of any _use_ to me! I loved them, and they were my friends! How dare you! Think of their son! Now he is an orphan!" Minerva could tell she had hit a nerve.

"Minerva, _I_ was an orphan. Have you so quickly forgotten about your best friend?"

"Tom, I have not forgotten. The only difference is that Neville doesn't deserve it. And maybe you do. You are no friend of mine; get out. Get out now." Minerva motioned towards the door.

"You will _pay_ for this insolence!" Tom whipped out his wand. But Minerva did not stay to hear about it. She lunged for the hairbrush on her dresser that acted as her port key. She felt a sudden jerk behind her navel, and fell to the ground in front of Dumbledore's summer home. Despite the peace surrounding the house, she had lost all hope. For the first time, Minerva broke down and wept.

* * * * * * *

After sending her patronus to Dumbledore warning him of Voldemort's presence, the school had been evacuated. Many concerned parents had written the school asking what was going on, and Minerva helped to ease their anxiety. In a way, it took her mind off of her own pain. She felt the pain, but could numb it just enough so she could go through the day; smile sometimes; just survive. She tried not to remember back to the days when they were so happy together. When they were sorted, during classes together, the day she admitted her love for him. She never wanted to think of this love again. She now knew that her promise meant nothing. She would not always love him. Not after what he had done to her; to the world. But one thing would drive her until the day of her death: she could not leave these students, or her fellow staff members behind until he fell first. That was the difference between her and him. That was all that mattered. She loved others, and he did not.


End file.
